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| Wow... it's been a long time... I guess I should catch everyone up, right? So, Nick and I celebrated our 1-year anniversary on the 14th. He took me dress shopping for our party that we were having on the 16th, then to a wonderful dinner at The Cheesecake Factory {which I LOVE}, and then we rented movies, went to his place and had awesome sex. He bought me some fucking sexy shoes and a pair of sunglasses. I got him a couple of CD's he's been wanting for forever and tickets to go see the Spurs play the Bulls on Oct. 19th. {I can't wait!} We had a black&white party to celebrate with our friends and it was so nice. I had so much fun and I loved my dress! :) What else? Hmm... oh! I'm in school now. Yay! I'm going to UTSA and it's awesome. I hated not being in school and it's kinda crazy to admit, buuuut... I like having homework, eek! I can't believe I said it, but it's true. I'll probably hate it by the end of the semester, but right now I am loving being in school. Best part... my grandmother paid for it! Haha. She rocks. Meh... I'm sleepy and I have class early, so... goodnight kids.
[.melissa.]
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| I
am so blessed in every aspect of my life. For so long I've only looked
at what I am lacking, but when I look harder... I see so much. I have
an amazing family that, though we are creating our own lives apart from
one another, will always be there for me... no matter what. My friends
are so wonderful... they truly are a support system unlike any other. I
have Nicholas, who is truly my backbone... I have so many things that I
have been blessed with. I need to start paying more gratitude for them.
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| So
it's been awhile... there's lots to catch up on. Most importantly...
I've realized why I was so sensitive to the things Nick would say and
do. This entire time we've been together, I've been thinking that he's
been looking for excuses to break-up with me. So, we had been having
fights over stupid shit because I was always certain he was mad at me,
but I was just seeing what I had been putting in my head. I told him
this finally in a fight we had the other day... he assured me that he hadn't ever thought about breaking up with me. Do you realize how relieving that was? It's like all of a
sudden... I feel so comfortable in this relationship. I feel so
blessed. I've been sick the past few days and Nick has been more than
willing to take care of me. What we have is so beautiful because I know
that as much as I am willing to do for him... he is willing to do for
me. And though I never say it... I think of him with every cheesy love
song I hear. Every lyric fits so perfect. We fit so perfect. My friend
KJ (without realizing it) gave me the best advice out of anyone. He was
holding a ping-pong ball in the palm of his hand with his hand
stretched out. Then he said to me, "Look. The ball is mine. I don't
have to clench it in my fist... I don't have to do anything. The ball
is mine whether I hold it tightly or not." Nick is mine whether I hold
tightly or not. I love that feeling.
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| Today
is my birthday! Today is my birthday! Today is my birthday! I'm 20
baby, yeah! :) I actually forgot until Nick wished me a happy one. LoL
[.melissa.]
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| I
always wanted a boy that would caress my cheek and look into my eyes
and just... make me feel like the most beautiful person ever. It seems
that Nick isn't comfortable behaving this way... I don't know how to the
approach the subject... I don't know whether I should take it to heart
or not..... *sigh*
[.melissa.]
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